Monday, May 21, 2012

No supermom here!

  Sometimes I think the hardest part of being a responsible adult is trying to keep it all straight.  Just when I think I am all caught up, I remember, or see i.e.; pile of laundry, stack of papers, messy bedroom/craftroom/spare room/bathroom (take your pick).  I keep telling myself, "I am going to get organized like I was that one year in 2006!"  Do I suffer from grand delusion?  Was I really all that organized?  In my head I remember a super clean house with a place for everything, and everything in it's place. My daily work out only consisted of 20 minutes and I never once had to look at my precious babes and say "Get in here and clean this mess!!!"

  Then I think about the fact that I was not as mature as I am now, and part of the reason my workout only consisted of 20 minutes is because I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off the other 17 hours and 40 minutes of the day I was awake.  My children were too little to move from room to room making colossal messes, and I didn't have to feel guilty for cleaning their rooms because they couldn't do it themselves.  So I guess in the end there is always a trade off.  Not to mention my organization did not come on my own merit, I had help from a friend/professional organizer.  Oh how I wish she could come stay with me for a week in my new house and get me on track!  She had a special way of getting me to get rid of stuff, and a special look for when I resisted.

  So carving out time for anything extra would seem impossible right?  Ha ha, not if you're me.  It's like when you are in the car and you hear a strange noise so you turn up the radio, or when your husband sees a cobweb in the kitchen, so you get up and turn the light off.  Yep, ignore it.  Does it go away?  No, but it's all about priorities my friends.  Where do they lie?  Lately I have been getting the important house cleaning duties done, like my kitchen is clean before I go to bed at night, and the bathrooms are clean (enough), but poor Scentsy has taken a back seat, and so has sweeping and mopping...I mean I squeeze it in when I can, and I can't tell you how long the pile of CLEAN laundry has been sitting here waiting to get folded.

   But here I sit blogging.  I tell you I need to do it.  I love to read back (when I have time) on my bloogies and see where I was, and hopefully how far I have come.  I don't preted to be perfect, but I am also not going to pretend I don't strive to improve.  Part of what takes precedence in my life right now is training for a 1/2 marathon, you can read all about that on my running blog.  This is part of my improving.

   I have begun to tell myself "yes I can" to the things I thought all my life I couldn't do.  Running is one, and the other is...get ready... because no one I know believes I can do it... it's... Making dinner every night YEP, something most people have no problem achieving.  I think I am the one who doubts myself the most.  I don't like to cook.  I always pictured myself as this mom who would do crafts with my kids, have a full course meal on the table every night, a perfectly put together house, have a game night, help kids with homework you get it.  I know that's a lot to put on myself, and I KNOW it's unrealistic, but gosh it's not bad things I want, and I suppose if that were all I set out to do, it would be possible, but then my SELF gets involved and I want me time, and me time takes time away from family time.

  I guess I better leave my supermom cape in the closet for a little while longer.

Love xoxoxox
A delusional mom

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