Sunday, August 26, 2012

I just need to write

Today is Sunday.

On Friday I prayed that God would get us to church.  For one; we haven't been for several weeks. For two; every time I know I am going to go, I wake up in the morning with a million excuses not to.
I knew this Sunday would be no exception.
The kids got out of bed and were dressed and ready to go in plenty of time.  I was completely moody and my poor husband was exhausted from a 6 day work week. We made it to church... a little late because the new dog decided to destroy the pediatric (aka not cheap) dog bed, all over the yard.
The service was great, the word was all about my favorite subject in Christianity: The bible.
Leaving Church went well too.  Eating lunch even better as we picked food up on the way and all ate at the table as a family.
Where it all went south:
One of my children came in and said that the other child said some very mean things to her, then spit on her.
So my kids have been together for the whole summer with very few breaks from each other.
Spitting is a huge NO NO

Thought number one:
I almost have the downstairs clean, and it has been so peaceful, NOW I have to worry about punishing a child in a creative way.... you know, natural consequence type stuff.  Oh how this drains me.

I want to eat now
Do you recall I just ate lunch?  I also had a couple pieces of dark chocolate.  I prefer milk chocolate, but dark curbs my appetite for chocolate even more.  Suprisingly I ignored the urge to eat because I realized something...

This war is not flesh and blood.
Spiritual warfare is the worst kind.

It has been an interesting week.  I have been dealing with being bloated, moody, and sore.

As I am typing this I have been interrupted like 6 times.  And when I say no, I get an argument.

I am feeling like a failure at being a wife.  I feel like I am cheating my kids because I don't give them enough consequences for their actions...good and bad, because I don't have them enrolled in sports, because I don't give them enough one on one time, because I haven't been doing devotions with them.  I feel like a failure because I cannot think of things to do with them.

I don't want these feelings to pass.  What I want is to correct the failures.  I wish so bad there was someone to swoop in, organize my house, and fix my behavior with my responsibilities because I clearly do not know how to do it myself.

Oh how I do love the emotional roller coaster of PMS.  Thank's Eve.

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