Numbers, math, it all equals such and such. This is what happens when I look at how much money is in the black, and how much is in the red. It all swims around in my head...well lets see, if I take this much out of the savings and put it toward this payoff, then I will only owe this much...uh, but then I have less than such and such in the savings, and how are we going to build a savings if I pull money out, but maybe I should pull out because I won't pay as much interest on the item I wish to pay off, but what if I need that money for an emergency? And the argument with myself continues.
It's all good, because I have realized that I live my life in cycles. It seems I go through this painful argument every time we have 3 paychecks in a month. So I have learned (almost) what works in my cycles and what doesn't. 35 has been a good age for me, it seems as though I am learning a lot about my behavior patterns, and those of my husband. As for the children, theirs is always changing, so keeping tabs on that would really make my head spin. I just try to love them and be a MOM in every sense of the word.