As I woke you up this morning I looked at your sweet face and said “Today is the first day of 8th grade” I didn’t think much about it as I have been contemplating the 8th grade ,and you being in it, since September of last year. You had most of your stuff packed up last night, so getting ready was a breeze for you. We arrived to school right on time. You got into your locker and got everything squared away quickly…this is old hat for you! Off to your class we go. I trail behind you, my steps slow to a crawl, finally a stop. This time 2 feet from your door instead of opening it and walking in behind you. I call your name, and you turn not realizing that I was stopped. I gave you a kiss and a hug and said have a great day. You said “Okay Mom, I love you.” And with that you were in your classroom being an 8th grader. Earning your middle school right of passage.
I wanted so badly to go back and peek in on you. I also know that you need your space, and even though I know I will be there for you for the rest of my life, I cannot stand over and watch your every moment. My heart is just a little achy and proud this morning.
I love you dearly sweet child.
I woke you this morning reminding you it was the first day of school. You got out of bed rather quickly and proceeded to get ready for school. I straightened your hair, then your sister French braided it, then I French braided it, then you wore it straight. You were just a little nervous about today and all of the newness it might bring. I don’t remember you being this nervous for school…ever. So in my mommy mind it meant you were going to need me extra this morning.
As we walked into the school you went to your locker to put away your stuff. I though for sure I was going to have to help you open your lock (with the combination still taped to the back). You opened your lock without trouble. Your first class was PE in the gym. You opened the gym door after giving me a kiss goodbye and stopped in the doorway, your face softening to make sure it was I who didn’t need you. How did you know? I made a very confident face and told you to have a great day and that I loved you. You went into the gym, the door closing behind you to join the ranks of middle school.
I stood there for a while, looked at another mom and said “I don’t even need to be here, but I am just standing here.” Then I left.
My heart is achy and proud today.
I love you dearly sweet child