A short, possibly, witness experience.

I don't doubt God's existence, I don't doubt His love for me. I accept that some people do. I have questioned why a God so powerful, and full of grace would let sin abound in this world. Even though I know the answer, I try not to question that one, but honestly I still do. It is a good thing that God being God Almighty, all powerful, does not hinge on my questions and concerns.

I pray that I would have no fear in being a witness to the wonderful glory of Jesus, and how He saves. But I do have fear, and lots of it. After seeing that movie God's Not Dead they encouraged us, the audience, to text everyone we know “God's Not Dead.” I opened up my phone, and the first person I was to include in that text, I had an excuse not to. I fumbled with it, then told myself I have way too many contacts to mess with that and made a quick exit out of the text message. Great witness hey? I know God is not beating me up about it, but I am more than willing to do that to myself.

God affirms my faith through confirmation. Some people want to see a life saved, or someone rescued from a bad situation to believe God is who He says He is. I stopped looking for that a long time ago, and here is why. We are not promised a life without sorrow, misery, or pain. We were at one time, but the first human beings did just what anyone of us would have done, and fell into temptation making the world a fallen place. He does promise us a life of joy and peace. Joy; Psalm 5:11, Psalm 16:11 Peace; John 14:27

Sometimes when I get to praying about how I wish I was a better witness, and how many opportunities I let pass by, God sends me a message through a friend, or gives me a message for a friend, and it is a wonderful reminder of how concerned He is over my little vapor of a life.

What happened today?

I was at the doctor waiting for my dreaded appointment (nothing serious, just annoying) and I was chatting with a woman there. She said she is at the age of mammograms. I asked her what age that was, and she told me 40. She said she was at risk for breast cancer because it runs in her family. She has the gene. I just spoke to someone not 2 hours earlier who has the gene, and has battled, and continues to battle breast cancer, that woman knows Jesus. The woman at the doctor office told me that if she gets it, then she will probably not pursue treatment, she will just be content to die. I thought to myself that this woman must have a great relationship with Jesus to be so comfortable with death. She must really be looking forward to heaven, so I asked her “Do you know the Lord?” She said, “Me, do I know the Lord? I said, “Yes, do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?”

“No, I do not, Me and the Lord are not friends, you see, I am an atheist”

“Oh”

“Yep, and I am totally okay with not having a relationship with God.”

“Oh, okay, so you have been asked about this?”

“Yes, lots of times.”

“Well, I know to just let that go because pressure is only going to make it worse, especially if you tell me straight up that you don't want to hear anymore about that. You understand my asking, right?”

“Oh yes, as I know that is what you are supposed to do, but they should be witnessing to Christians who aren't following the right way.” “I may not believe in God, but I have more morals that people who say they are Christians.”

I say “Oh, I did not doubt that!”

She went on to iterate how very much she did not want to hear about it because she was totally fine about not knowing the Lord, and was content with her life the way it is.
I told her “People should respect your decision, as I do, but I am going to turn around and pray for you.”

She said “Oh, thank you. You do whatever makes you feel good about yourself.” The funny thing is, as snide as that sounds...I know with all of my being that she did not mean it that way.

I also forgot to mention that I said a little something about the Lord wanting her attention by sending all these people her way, but it got quickly pushed aside...not even a second to hang in the air.

I had to really let that conversation sink in. It wasn't as uncomfortable as ones I have had in the past, but it was up there pretty good. I know I handled it the right way, and probably could have handled it even better, but I have some after thoughts.

The first thought being that God is in control, I should pray for her, and God is definitely showing himself to her (I wasn't even planning on getting into a conversation with an atheist, I thought she was a believer, remember?)

The second thought was that I had a million questions for her about where her hope lies, how does she feel about other religious beliefs, can she be a conservative and an atheist all at the same time, where does she stand with the Hobby Lobby/Obama care thing, what does she think about abortion, is she angry with me for loving God, does she think I am less intelligent because of that, do I think she is less intelligent because she does not? I am just being really super open and honest about my after thoughts, I guess hoping to expose some of the thoughts that go through peoples heads when they share the message of Jesus Christ. Do I stand alone in these crazy thoughts?

I know some things. God loved the world enough to send His only son to live in this wretched place and take on all of our sin so we may be saved, and to have life more abundantly. I know that He loves us with that kind of a love no matter what life we choose for ourselves. I know that if we confess our sins and believe in Him for eternal salvation, that we will one day wake up in the land of glory. Until then friends, I will tarry on in the exceptionally wonderful life he has given me, and pray for the strength to do something one day that is bigger than myself.